Forget me not
by amal-rukia
Summary: Croix Meridies has been through a lot. She has lost her dream to her best friend, she has been forgotten by her mentor, and she had the work she spent ten years building turn against her and try to kill her. Yet none of that has hurt her more than the words she just heard. "Who are you?"
1. The one that got away

**Hello! This is a fic that I've been wanting to write and post for a while. I hope you will enjoy it, and I would love to hear your thoughts about it!**

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 **Chapter 1:** The one that got away.

The faint sound of the birds singing has caught her attention, or as much attention one could have while still stuck between consciousness and unconsciousness. She felt the movement on the bed, and arms around her pulling her closer. There was a warm breath on her neck, and the feeling of safety, of being at home.

She slowly opened her eyes, grimacing at the light as her eyes were still trying to adjust. She moaned as she tried to move, and turned to the person hugging her.

Chariot Meridies smiled, as her eyes met her wife's. Croix gave her a lazy smile, and hugged her closer.

"Good morning, babe." Croix said, kissing her forehead. The redhead smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Good morning, Chérie." Chariot answered, nuzzling her. Her smile grew wider when she felt her wife's fingertips running through her hair, while her other hand gently rubbed her arm.

Chariot didn't want to leave to work, not while feeling this happy, this comfortable. "I don't want to go to work." She whined, and kissed her lover while caressing her cheek.

"Then don't go." Croix chuckled, paying her back with another kiss.

"But I _have_ to."

"We can get remarried and have another honeymoon so that you don't need to work."

"Really?"

"Nope."

"Aw." Chariot pouted, but then chuckled when Croix kissing her neck, she then started blowing there instead, causing the redhead to laugh. "Hey! Stop!"

"Okay, I'll stop." Croix winked, then started tickling her instead.

Chariot struggled to escape and pulled Croix down for a passionate kiss. The lilac haired witch reciprocated and smiled against her lips.

Pulling away, Croix looked down at her with a smirk.

"It's your turn to make breakfast." She said.

"It's _always_ my turn to make breakfast." Chariot rolled her eyes. She left the bed and moved to the bathroom.

Croix watched her leave, fondly, then moved away to change her clothes.

It's been 7 years since the missile incident, seven years since the grand triskelion seal has been unlocked.

After that incident, Croix promised Chariot that she would find a cure to Wagandea's curse, and give her back her ability to fly. She kept her promise, and came back with it, and when she did, she and Chariot started dating.

She was unsure of it at first. She knew of her feelings towards her old friend, but she was not sure if things could ever work out between them after everything that has happened.

Yet here they are, married for almost seven years.

Most people would say that they moved really fast, but after a few months of dating, they just _knew_ it was what they wanted. It felt right.

They were happy, and they were in love. They were like two pieces of a puzzle that finally found their places together.

Chariot was still teaching under the name Ursula, while Croix made advancements with her modern magic, and it was becoming more acceptable amongst people.

She had the help of Paul Hanbridge, who has been interested in learning more about magic thanks to his son, and being the ambitious woman she is, she took her opportunity.

She lazily fixed her hair for the day, and finished buttoning up her shirt, before moving to the kitchen, and hugging her wife from behind.

Chariot leaned back into her, as she finished cooking.

The two moved to the table.

"You have to replace one of the professors today, right?" Croix asked, taking a bite from her food.

"That's right. It's a potion class, and while I'm not fond of that subject too much, It will be over before I know it." Chariot said, eating as well. "I'm the only available professor today."

"I can take in your place. I don't mind having two shifts." Croix said, taking a sip of her coffee. Unfortunately, the black liquid stopped having an effect on her after she consumed it too much.

"You already work a lot, Chérie." Chariot said, smiling. "I can handle it."

"You work just as much." The lilac haired witch argued. "One of these days, I'm taking you on a vacation."

"Croix Meridies the workaholic wants a vacation? How time has changed you." Chariot teased her, and giggled when she received an offended look.

"Now, excuse _you_. I am still a workaholic, but I want you to rest and I want to spend time with _my wife_." She said, crossing her arms, and the redhead finished her food and walked to her, kissing her cheek.

"I would love that." She said, brushing a few bangs off the emerald eyed woman's face. "I have to go now. I'll miss you. I love you." She said, hugging her, before walking towards the door.

"I love you too!" Croix said, and her wife waved at her in response.

Croix smiled, and looked back at her food, then looked around. Two mugs, two plates, two of everything… Just seeing things in that number brought a warm feeling.

She had never thought she and Chariot could have this, not after everything she has done, and yet here they were…

She once thought that being tied down would affect her work and ambitions, give a limit to them, but that wasn't the case.

She and Chariot have always been dreamers since day one, and somehow, they were still their own people, their own dreamers.

Chariot had become better at teaching, and she enjoying helping those girls when other professors wouldn't. Croix had made a lot of progress with her research, and while she didn't want something she made for _Chariot_ to be something that she would get a lot of credit for.

However, Chariot convinced to share the cure with the world, knowing that it would help so many witches who have lost hope recovering from the curse.

And so, she did.

She briefly looked at her ring, before standing to clean the table. Her own shift was in the evening, so she could at least get a calm morning.

Meanwhile, Chariot walked in the hallways, humming a song that used to play during her shows. Her manager called it the Shiny Chariot them, which was very embarrassing, looking back at it now.

She missed all the trouble Akko would cause back in the day. Some students were troublesome, of course, but none of them could cause so many disasters like the brunette.

She wondered if she was doing okay with her show preparations. She called her a day ago, talking about how she had some plans and needed her and Croix to help her.

Some of the kids stayed at the school as professors, one of them was Sucy Manbavaran, who decided it would be better to work on potions here with all the resources and information in the school. The other was Jasminka, who showed interest in becoming headmistress.

Diana was now the head of the Cavendish family, and one of the most important witches of this generation.

Chariot didn't have much contact with the others, but she knew from Akko that they were doing well. She was happy to hear that their bonds were strong enough for them to meet up and keep contact even after graduating.

It was beautiful, really.

She moved to the classroom, and wondered why did they have a wider staff if they would still throw so much work at her.

She had a hunch the professors loved bullying her.

She entered the classroom to find a rather… chaotic class.

First years… of course.

In the past few years, the school expanded and had more professors and more classes to teach. However, more students with no magic background showed interest after the whole missile incident, which… _wasn't bad_ but it would usually lead to disasters because the professors still wouldn't bother to teach them the basics.

Chariot smiled at the students who were all over the place. Once they saw her, they tried to go back to their seats, leading to some of them tripping over each other…

"Um, hello! I will replace your professor for today, so I hope we get along." She said with a smile, and the students just stared at her silently.

"Hey, aren't you Shiny Chariot?" One of the students asked, and the professor internally groaned. "I've seen videos of you on witchtube! You're pretty cool!"

"Is it really you? Can you show us some of your tricks?"

"I am sorry, but I no longer use that title." Chariot sighed, then smiled encouragingly. "How about we start with our lesson?"

She made a mental note to ask Croix if she could hack into witchtube or something.

The lesson went fine for the most part. Chariot wasn't an expert in potion making, but she knew what was needed for today. The students seemed to be bright, and caught on her hints quickly.

She looked at the clock, and couldn't wait to see her wife again before going to her next class.

She played with her ring, distracted, until a student asked her something.

"Are you married professor?" The student was a brunette who reminded her slightly of Akko. She chuckled.

"I believe this is what the ring is for." The redhead said, adjusting her glasses. "Shouldn't you be working on your potion?"

"I am! I just finished it with my team." She grinned. "Would you like to see it?"

"Oh, in that case, sure!" Chariot said, then frowned when she smelled something burning.

She turned to the source, and saw one of the teams freaking out over their pot. The smell made her eyes burn.

"What is happening over there?" She asked as she started to cough, and used a spell to shield the students from it.

"I… I kept putting every ingredient to see which one would work and-" Before the student would finish, the liquid inside the pot started growing into a bubble.

"Everyone, leave the classroom!" Chariot yelled, and the students followed her orders.

She pointed her wand at the bubble, trying to conceal it and stop it from exploding.

Unfortunately, she failed to do it in time, the sound of an explosion was heard, and then there was smoke coming out the door.

That was how Croix found herself pacing back and forth in front of the nurse's office, waiting for any news about her wife. She has been there for a while, and Croix would have preferred an actual hospital, but at least they called a doctor instead of leaving it to just a nurse.

She was losing her patience, and she ran a hand through her hair, feeling frustrated.

She should have taken that class instead, she should have taken her place.

She should have tried to convince her to go back to sleep while she went to teach this stupid class.

This was her fault, she should have done something. She should have complained about the poor management of this stupid school and made her stay in bed.

Croix's hands trembled, as she struggled to control her fear and anger.

She will be okay.

It was just a potion accident, if it was that dangerous there would have been more of a fuss, right?

Everything will be alright, and she will hold her in her arms again.

Chariot was strong, nothing could take her down.

With that thought in her mind, the door opened.

The doctor stared at her somberly.

"She's awake." He said, and Croix just pushed through him, without hearing what he had to say.

She walked in, to see her wife lying on the white bed, looking dazed. The redhead was looking around in confusion, before looking at her with lost eyes.

Croix rushed to her side, and took the seat beside her, before holding her hand.

"Hey babe. I'm here." The lilac haired witch said, softly. She gently rubbed her thumb against her lover's hand. "Are you okay?"

Chariot just looked at her in confusion. She glanced at their hands, but didn't do a thing. She instead looked back into those emerald eyes, that stared at her with so much love and worry.

She opened her mouth to speak.

Croix Meridies has been through a lot. She has lost her dream to her best friend, she has been forgotten by her mentor, and she had the work she spent ten years building turn against her and try to kill her.

Yet none of that has hurt her more than the words she just heard.

"Who are you?"


	2. Something old, something faded

**Hey, back with the second chapter. It's a bit slow right now, but I hope you enjoy what I'm writing here. Would love to hear your opinions on this chapter!**

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 **Chapter 2:** Something old, something faded.

Croix turned the key to her apartment, and walked in with Chariot's hand in hers. The woman was confused, looking around, trying to remember what was supposed to be her home.

The lilac haired witch's heart would have been more broken if she wasn't feeling numb right now. Chariot held her hand, but did she remember how their hands would fit together, how their fingers would intertwine?

The redhead stood there, almost scared. She moved just a little closer to her, and looked up to meet her eyes.

However, Chariot felt a pain in her chest, when she saw the heartbroken look she was receiving.

"This… is home." Croix said with a low voice, before leading her to the couch so they could talk.

The two sat in silence, neither of them knowing what to say.

Croix was sinking in the couch, while Chariot was still trying to grasp into anything, that she could remember.

One was scared, the other was broken.

"So… You're my wife?" Chariot finally asked, as she glanced between their matching rings.

"Yeah, we've been married for seven years now."

"Oh, wow… That's…" She laughed nervously. "That's a lot." She said, looking down at her lap, nervous. "I don't remember anything, but at least I have a pretty wife." She mumbled, but Croix heard her, and could only smile sadly.

" _She is suffering from Amnesia." The doctor said, while Croix was just sitting there, in shock. "I know this is hard on you, but you must be patient."_

" _Will she ever remember?" Croix asked, too weak to even raise her head to look at the man._

" _I can't promise you anything, but I suggest you try and help her. Perhaps showing her familiar things, or taking her to places she's been to could jog her memory? You also need to keep a distance from her, to her you're just a stranger now."_

Just a stranger…

"You already heard this, but you are a witch. You are a professor at Luna Nova, a school for witches where we both studied in." Croix explained. "You have a familiar who is not here at the moment and a polar bear as a friend."

"A polar bear?" Chariot gave her a look. She looked down for a moment, confused, then took a strand of her hair, moving it around her finger. "I'm sorry I can't remember anything. I… what kind of person was I? Am I a good wife? It's… a little strange waking up with no memory of anything, then finding out I've been married for 7 years." She chuckled, then loosely hugged herself. "It's a little scary, not knowing anything."

The lilac haired witch moved closed to her, and reached out to hug her, only to stop and rest her hand on her shoulder instead. She gave her the best smile she could master while feeling the way she did.

"You're the kindest person I've ever met, Chariot. You have a heart of gold, and you've always made me happy." Croix said. "Don't worry about anything, just rest for now. The doctor told me to make sure you are well rested and fed, let's not make him scold me, alright?" She playfully winked, bringing a smile out of the redhead.

"I do feel a bit tired, yeah."

"You're not in pain, are you?"

"No, I'm fine." Chariot smiled, then glanced between her hands and the witch's eyes. "Are _you_ okay?"

"I am. You should rest now." Croix said. "I love yo-" She stopped herself, biting the inside of her cheek. "I'm sorry. I'll show you the rooms."

Chariot later settled on the bed, her bed… She ran a hand on the sheets, the fabric feeling familiar to her, just like the way the room smelled.

She opened her closet, and frowned when she couldn't recognize which clothes belonged to her, and which ones to her wife.

Her wife…

Chariot did not know what to do. She remembered nothing, and she was in this house that was supposed to be her home, with this woman who was supposed to be her wife and…

She knew neither of them.

Meanwhile, Croix stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, both her hands resting on the sides of the sink. She washed her face for what could be the tenth time, hoping to wake up from the nightmare she was having, but every time she splashed the cold water against her skin, the realization that this was reality only hit harder.

Chariot, the most important person in her life... Had no clue who she was.

Oh how she wanted to cry.

This must be her karma catching up to her, as if no matter how much she would try to redeem herself and fix her past mistakes, nothing could ever repay her debts.

What a fool she was…

Her phone started buzzing, and she picked it up absentmindedly.

"Professor Croix! I've been trying to call you all day!"

Oh… It was Akko.

Croix's eyes widened because _oh, it WAS Akko._ She rubbed her temples and groaned softly, hoping the brunette didn't hear her. She had to tell her, but how?

"I was hoping you and professor Ursula could help me with something but none of you was answering the-"

"Akko." She cut her off, gathering all the courage she had.

You would think that this would be easy considering how she once told her that Chariot's show is what took her magic away.

That was a lifetime ago…

"What?"

"Chariot has amnesia."

A solid ten seconds has passed.

"What…?"

"She doesn't remember anything. She doesn't remember us, or the time she spent with us…" Croix's voice started cracking, and she hated how weak she sounded. She didn't like anyone seeing her like this, not even Chariot. "I… I don't know what to do."

"Holy shiny Chariot…" Akko breathed in, not sure how to take this information. "We will figure it out, okay? We'll get her memories back!"

"What if she doesn't get them back?"

"Don't think about that! We'll get them back!" The brunette said. "I will come to you right now!"

"No, don't come!" The lilac haired witch quickly said. "Not today, maybe tomorrow… I'm tired, and Chariot is trying to adjust right now."

"Okay, then I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah…"

She hang up, and continued to wash her face, wishing the tears would stop, but knowing that once they started coming down there was no stopping them.

That night, she had the worst sleep she's ever had since her first day in prison.

She felt cold and alone, and no amount of blankets could warm her. She slept on the couch, insisting that Chariot should take the bed. It would be weird to sleep on their bed when they're basically strangers now.

Their bed…

Little did she know that she wasn't the only one having a hard time.

The redhead kept rolling around her bed, restless. She kept trying to reach out for something that wasn't there, a warm body to hug, an embrace to feel safe in.

She found nothing, so she just hugged her pillow.

The two didn't sleep that well.

When the morning came, Chariot was the first one to wake up. She groaned, still feeling a small headache from yesterday. She looked around the room again, hoping to remember it, but nothing came back.

She turned to the empty space near her on the bed, and a feeling of emptiness grew in her chest.

She looked away, not sure what to make of those feelings.

She walked outside the room, and spotted her… wife, sleeping on the couch, with the blanket knocked off her.

The redhead walked towards her, careful not to make any noise. She pulled the blanket, and covered her again. The lilac haired witch moved a bit, but didn't wake up.

She was grimacing in her sleep, as if seeing a nightmare.

Chariot moved her hand towards her face, cupping her cheek as she watched the witch struggled.

Should she wake her up? Should she let her sleep and the nightmare will just go away?

What would she even say if she woke her up? She knew nothing about her, nothing that could comfort her.

She didn't know this woman.

Yet this same woman relaxed at her touch, and at that sight, Chariot pulled her hand away as if she's been struck by lightning.

She stared at her own hand, at her ring, and touched it.

She felt conflicted.

She sighed, and decided to move and do something. Perhaps making breakfast would take her mind off things? Croix wouldn't mind, right?

This was her home too, so why was she wondering if it's okay?

...Then again, she didn't remember anything about her 'home'.

When it was Croix's turn to wake up, she woke up to the familiar smell of breakfast, and for a moment, she wondered if the previous day was all a nightmare.

However, the more she let consciousness sink in, the more she realized that she wasn't in her bed, but instead sleeping on the couch, alone...

She sat up, and scratched her already messy hair, before moving to the kitchen and standing at the door.

She watched Chariot cook, as if nothing had changed.

She knew that everything has though. The doctor told her not to get her hopes up, that while Chariot lost her memories, she still remembered the everyday things, and maybe even habits.

She wondered if she hugged her from behind like she always did, would she push her away? Or would she lean in, her body remembering her touch.

Croix rubbed her temples.

What was she thinking? Perhaps she should wash her face first.

Before she could leave, Chariot turned around, and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" She asked, taking her apron off. "I… thought I would make breakfast, I'm sorry."

Croix forced a smile, but it couldn't reach her eyes.

"What are you apologizing for? This _is_ your house." She said, and put a hand on her shoulder, reassuring her. "Besides, the food smells great. Thank you." She said, before walking away.

Her smile changed into a pained expression, and Chariot put her hand where the woman's was, and felt conflicted at how colder she felt without her touch.

When the two sat for breakfast, the world was silent. It wasn't the usual comfortable silence, no, it was one that was filled with guilt, fear, doubt and tension.

It was something that Croix didn't expect to feel again, not after they made amends.

Sometimes, silence can kill more than words or actions could ever do.

"Did you sleep okay?" Croix asked, her eyes staring at their untouched food. Chariot, who was poking her food, looked up at her in surprise.

"Oh, uhm… more or less." She answered, thinking that it would be useless to lie to someone who's known her for seven years or more. "You?"

"More or less." Her 'wife' answered right away.

"I'm… I'm sorry." The redhead apologized, and leaned back into her chair. She noticed how the other witch's unfocused eyes suddenly shot up to her in worry, and it only made her worse.

"Why are you sorry? I chose to sleep on the couch-"

"Not that." Chariot answered. "Although, I'm sorry for that too." She sighed, trying to keep her gaze on those emerald eyes, but whenever she tried to, she felt something pulling her in, and it scared her. "I'm sorry for putting you in this position."

That was when the older witch realized what she was talking about.

She took a deep breath.

"It wasn't your fault, Chariot. I should have, convinced you to just stay in bed." She ran a hand through her short hair, and closed her eyes. "We'll figure this out, okay? We'll get your memories back in time."

"What if it doesn't work? What if I don't remember?" Chariot asked, her hands clenched into fists under the table. "I don't remember anything, or _anyone_. It's scary, and even though you're my wife I… don't _know_ you." She said, and after a moment of silence, realization hit her. Her eyes shot wide and she covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

Croix stood up. Her expression was hard to read, as she walked towards the redhead. Without saying a word, she reached her hand out for her, waiting for the younger witch to take it.

Chariot hesitated, trying to read those emerald eyes. However, she didn't even realize her hand moving to hold hers, like it was something that she had done so many times that it became an instinct to reach out to touch her, to feel her warm and slightly rough palm on her skin, and think about how much they fit together like two missing pieces of a puzzle finding each other.

Her mind was screaming stranger danger.

Her body was saying otherwise.

That alone, made the conflict inside her louder.

Croix held her hand tightly, but not tight enough to hurt her. It was tight enough to keep her from slipping away.

"We're going on a little trip." Croix finally said, leading her outside the kitchen.

She grabbed two coats, handing one of them to Chariot, and wearing the other one herself. She took her traditional broom and looked back at her… wife.

Chariot held into the coat, both confused and concerned. She was vulnerable, with no knowledge of most things around her.

"Where are we going?" She asked, with a low tone.

"I'm going to show you around, and at the same time, you can ask me anything." Croix answered, reaching to take her hand again, and the redhead's moved to meet it halfway.

She looked at their hands, and at the ring in her own, and whispered a simple 'okay'.

"Once we're flying, hold on tight and don't let go, okay?"

Chariot held the hand tighter.

"Okay."


	3. If I told you that I loved you

**It's been a while, but here is an update finally! I don't know how many people are still reading this sice the fandom is pretty much dead, but I hope you enjoyed! Leave a review and tell me what you think!**

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 **Chapter 3:** If I told you that I loved you, would you walk away?

The two witches flew in silence through the leyline. Chariot had her arms around Croix's torso, and while flying felt familiar, she still felt somehow nervous.

She was on alert, but at the same time, not.

Everything about her seemed to contradict itself ever since she lost her memories, but what tells her that she wasn't that way before the incident?

"We're almost there." Croix stated. She hasn't spoken much since they left the house. There was still tension between them, one that might linger more than they'd like it to.

"So, are you going to tell me where we're going yet?" The redhead asked, hoping they would leave the leyline soon.

They left right as she asked.

Chariot looked at the building in front of her, old looking but still standing strong. There was a certain tower that caught her eyes. It tugged at her heart strings.

"Welcome to Luna Nova." Croix said, casting a spell around them. "It's better if we keep ourselves invisible. I don't want to deal with the students and professors on our tails."

"This is the school I graduated from?"

"Yeah, we both did. This is where we met." She explained, slowly flying towards the forest. "Actually, this is where you lived your whole life."

Chariot hummed, looking around. She was trying to remember something, anything. If she spent so much of her life here, then she had to remember something, right?

...Right.

It was all blank.

Nothing.

The lilac haired witch carefully landed in an open area, one that brought back so many precious memories, and one that she hoped could trigger something in the redhead.

Chariot stood off the broom, and walked around, exploring the place. For some reason, she felt at ease here. She took a deep breath, smiling at the fresh air.

"This is where we met." Croix started, standing behind her. She kept a good distance, wanting to give the redhead the space she needed. "You were always sneaking past curfew, coming here to perform. You were a rebel, and I managed to catch you." She chuckled to herself.

"Wow." Chariot said, then looked at her 'wife' with a raised eyebrow. "How would you know that, if you didn't sneak out too?"

Croix stared for a moment.

"Touché." Chariot smiled at the answer. "I did want to meet this troublemaker who kept blowing up the school."

"Oh." The redhead's eyes widened. "I did that?"

"On a daily basis. Yes."

"Oops…"

Croix grinned, and crossed her arms, trying to remember the many moments they have shared here throughout the years.

"You used to drag me here at night to show me spells you've been working on. I can't remember how many times you fell on your butt."

"Did you just bring me here to remind me of all the dumb stuff I did?"

"Maybe." Croix smirked, then let out a wishful sigh. "Right after our wedding, we came here. This was our spot, and because it was really personal, we couldn't have our guests see it."

"So we continued to celebrate it here?"

"Yeah. You threw some magic around, like you always would, and we danced." The lilac haired woman explained, and Chariot chuckled softly.

"That sounds romantic."

"Oh yeah, we're the most romantic couple around." Croix joked, and smiled at the sight of her wife opening up a bit.

Chariot kept looking around, trying to imagine what that would have been like, dancing with her wife under the moonlight. Was it fun? Did it make her happy? Was it just the two of them in the world, two people in love?

She couldn't remember, so she couldn't know.

She could however, try something.

She turned to the woman next to her, hesitant and shy. She wasn't sure if this was a good idea, especially since she still couldn't see her as anything but a stranger, but she really wanted it. She wanted to remember even a fragment of what that must have felt like.

She carefully tugged at Croix's sleeve, making her look at her in confusion.

Chariot took a deep breath, then asked.

"Could you dance with me?" Croix's eyes widened, and Chariot started to panic. "I mean, maybe if we repeat the same thing, I could remember a bit. It was our special day, wasn't it?" She said, now blushing from embarrassment.

What was she doing, asking this of someone she barely knew?

 _Someone she felt so safe and comfortable with…_

"Of course." Croix gave her a small smile, and the redhead glanced away, not wanting to see the hint of heartbreak in her eyes. The older witch raised her hand, patiently waiting for Chariot to take it.

Chariot took a deep breath, and took it, before resting her hand on her shoulder, while Croix's moved to hold her by the waist.

How many times have they done this?

They slowly moved in sync, and it all felt so natural, like a daily task that you would do automatically without even thinking. It was simple, yet the meaning behind it…

Chariot felt herself moving closer, closing some of the distance between them. At some point, both her hands were placed on her shoulders, and she avoided to look at her, as much as she could.

There was a sadness in her eyes, that tugged at her heart.

How could she feel so torn, over someone she didn't know?

The silence was comforting, peaceful even.

Chariot felt herself relaxing -Although, she was never tense in the first place- and finally looked up, into Croix's emerald eyes. Those eyes seemed surprised to meet her own red orbs, and confusion and worry filled them for a moment, before tenderness took over.

The dance lasted just a bit longer, and when they both stopped, they didn't pull right away.

Chariot kept staring at the lilac haired witch, as if trying to solve a puzzle, and Croix found herself looking away, fearing that if she looked at her any longer, she would give in and pull her close.

There was a heartbeat, strong and different, then it disappeared as soon as it appeared.

The redhead's eyes widened, and she quickly pulled away and looked at anything at the older woman, who in return stared at her in disappointment.

Croix watched as her wife started to close herself off again, and quickly thought of something.

"Oh right, Arcas would want to see you." She said, making her look at her again, much to her relief. She stopped herself from smiling sadly at the confusion in her eyes. "He's your childhood friend, and pet I guess? He's a polar bear." She clarified.

"A _bear_?"

"A bear." She confirmed, and watched as Chariot's eyes went through multiple stages, from confusion, to fear, to denial, to reluctant acceptance. She smirked at her reaction. "Follow me."

She said, grasping her broom and walking away.

Her other hand lingered behind, as if waiting to be held. She noticed and mentally scolding herself, before shoving it into her pocket.

"So… Arcas is my familiar?"

"Oh, no, that would be Alcor." The lilac haired witch said. "The crow."

"Where is he then?" Chariot asked, still confused over the whole thing, especially the polar bear part.

"He likes to wander off for a day or two. He should be back later." Croix answered, and winced as she imagined how the familiar could take the news.

It wasn't long until they found the gate to the fountain of Polaris, which Arcas has been guarding.

She wondered why he even kept guard. No one has really tried to get in -except for Akko a couple of time, but she's Akko- so there was no need to keep him trapped there.

She stopped and looked around, making sure no one would see them.

"Alright, time to do something that breaks the rules." She said, and Chariot's eyebrows furrowed.

"What what-"

Croix ignored her and used her wand to open the gate, then whistled. It only took a few seconds for the huge polar bear to run towards them, looking almost murderous.

Chariot yelped, and hid behind Croix's back, holding to the fabric of her shirt and hoping that she wouldn't become bear food.

Arcas stopped an inch before Croix, and she didn't flinch, as she became used to this encounter over the years. He then licked her whole face, making her frown in disgust.

Now, _that_ was the thing she couldn't get used to.

Chariot took a look at the bear, and her fear was replaced with comfort and care that surprised her. She took a slow step towards him, and he tackled her to the ground, happy to see her.

Chariot found herself laughing, and ruffling his fur as he mercilessly licked her.

"Stop- Stop that Arcas!" She said, struggling to escape his prison. Croix looked at her in surprise, caught off guard by her response.

Maybe she was just imagining it, and it wasn't the real Chariot talking in that brief moment.

Her thoughts were cut off when Alcor landed on her head out of nowhere.

She blinked before trying to take him off it. "What are you doing here? You're trespassing." She said, and the bird cawed before flying away to the bear. "Hey that's…! That's fair I guess. Good point." She crossed her arms and shrugged at what he said.

Chariot greeted her old friend, and hugged him out of instinct. Her smile has turned sad after a moment, as she stared at them both, trying to remember any memory that involved them.

He scratched Alcor's neck, then patted Arcas' head, and while the gesture has been done so many times before, she remembered nothing.

She sighed.

"What's wrong?" Croix asked, and she looked down at her in worry.

Did she make the wrong decision by bringing her here?

"It's just that everything is so familiar. This place, my friends, you…" The redhead started, and changed her gaze from her two friends, to her 'wife'. "But despite how familiar, how nostalgic it all feels to my body, to my heart… I can't remember anything."

"That's okay." The lilac haired witch said, trying to hide how disheartened she was feeling. She tried her best to fake a smile. She was good at faking after all. "It's going to take time, but we'll get your memories back."

"What if they don't come back?" Chariot asked, her voice just a little louder, frustration slipping past her control. "What if I don't remember anything? What will I do? What will _we_ do?"

Croix's heart sank, and she closed her eyes.

"Let's not… think about that." She said, not knowing what to say, and not wanting to consider the possibility.

Being a scientist meant trying to think of every possible outcome, and thinking of how to handle it.

For once, she rejected that side of her.

She didn't think her heart would take it.

She looked away, wanting nothing but to tell her how much she loved her, something that she has said so many times, for so many years.

Now, she couldn't even look her way without wondering if she was making her uncomfortable, of if she was scaring her off.

Chariot stood up, and took a few steps towards her. She felt the guilt eating her up inside, for putting the witch into such pain. She couldn't imagine what it was like, to love someone and live with them for years, only for them to forget about you.

She didn't want to know how that felt like.

She was in pain too, not knowing how to live with no memory of how her life used to be. She didn't know who she was, who she truly was, what she liked, what she wanted…

All she remembered was the simple things, but nothing that tied her to the people she cared about.

Still, in that moment, those were the last of her concerns, when she looked at her 'wife'.

She did what she thought would be right, because if there is one thing she knew for sure, it was that she hated seeing her like that.

She hugged Croix, surprising her, and whispered. "I'm sorry."

The action shook Croix to her core, making her more conflicted than ever. Her hands moved immediately at the contact, to rest on her back, but she caught herself. She remained frozen for a moment, feeling like her touch could hurt her, like it would drive her away.

So, her hands fell to her side, and they stood like that.


	4. I loved, and I loved, and I lost you

**Hello! I know, it's been a while, but it's just like that sometimes, things get in the way and I've wanted time for myself. And to tell you the Truth i've been worried about updating lwa fics again after such a long pause.**

 **But here I am! I've been working on my original writing too, so if you like my writing style and are interested in my stories, just let me know! You can also go to my tumblr blog, where I will be making updates on my Schedule and which fic i'll be posting next and which day! The tag will be 'fic update', and as for my original content, i have my own blog for that, I will share it if you want.**

 **The next fic to be updated is going to be 'Love and Misfortune', check my blog (Akilice) for which day! With that aside, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please let me know what you think of it! Have a nice day!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4:** I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.

 _A light and short laugh escaped her lips, as her heart beat to match the feeling in her chest._

 _Euphoria._

 _She leaned up, kissing the emerald eyed witch, her hands tangled in her hair. She tried to convey what she was feeling, to return it to the woman who gave it to her in the first place. She smiled as her lips moved against hers, and her arms pulled her closer, almost protectively._

" _What's gotten into you?" Croix chuckled as they pulled away. She gently moved a stray red lock behind Chariot's ear, the color matching the blush that made its way to the younger witch's face._

" _You." Chariot just said with a smile, causing her to raise an eyebrow._

" _Me?" Croix asked softly, with an amused grin._

" _I love you." Chariot said, before hugging her and burying her head into her shoulder, smiling in satisfaction. Her smile grew wider, as her lover's hand moved down her long hair, and started playing with its tips._

" _I love you-"_

Chariot jolted awake. Her heart was beating fast, as if trying to keep up with her rapid breaths. The dream she was having was a blur to her now, and what was even worse was the fact that it all became a jumbled mess at the end, that she could only describe it as a nightmare.

She took a deep breath, finally regaining her composure.

She got up, and left the bedroom. She noticed that Croix was passed out on the couch, with piles of papers and blueprints on the coffee table. She frowned at the mess, and decided to freshen up before waking up her 'wife'.

She stared at herself in the mirror for a good amount of time, trying to recognize the face staring back at her. She couldn't.

There were so many things that she didn't know about herself. All she could do was speculate about some things.

She noticed that her body was in good shape, good abs and muscles, so it made her wonder if she had a workout routine.

There were times where her left arm would hurt her for no reason, as if something heavy was weighing on it, crushing it.

The pain would overwhelm her for a moment, before it disappears.

What caused that pain? Was it an old injury? Something else?

Today, she wondered how strange and unusual her eyes looked. She asked Croix about it and she told her they looked like pokeballs… she had no idea what that meant, but she took her word for it.

She then heard a loud thud and opened the door to look at the source. Croix fell off the couch, her face buried into the carpet.

"Are you okay?" Chariot asked, and Croix simply raised her hand up, gave her a thumbs up, and continued to sleep on the floor.

After a while, the lilac haired witch finally woke up. She looked exhausted, and Chariot wondered if she had any sleep at all.

Chariot looked at her in worry, as she stared at her breakfast for the past few minutes. She only took a few bites, and small ones at that.

"Are you okay?" Chariot asked again, and Croix looked at her for a moment, before rubbing her neck.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." She answered, and her eyes moved to Alcor, who was eating his own breakfast. At least he was around to keep the redhead company. "I need to go to school. I can't leave my classroom empty for longer."

She sighed, wondering if she should curse Finneran or thank her for calling her back to the school. She had to stay beside Chariot, and help her adjust to her life and perhaps find a way to trigger back her memories, but she was also feeling emotionally exhausted just by being in the same space as her.

A break, even a small one, would be good for her.

"Oh, okay." Chariot simply said, not sure how else to respond. She looked away, as she took a sip from her tea.

If she was being honest, she didn't like the idea of staying on her own. She had no idea what to do, not to mention, she had no _memories_ of what she would usually do.

Fortunately, she could still understand crow language, so perhaps she wouldn't be so alone with her familiar by her side.

Croix gave her one last look, before standing up.

"If you need anything, just call me, okay?" She said, and the redhead just nodded.

Croix wanted to say so much more, but how could she?

They were nothing but strangers, so what else could she say?

She took a deep breath, reached for her jacket, and left.

Chariot sighed, and sank into her chair. She looked at her familiar who was watching her curiously. She gave him a small smile, before closing her eyes for a moment.

Everything was such a mess. Nothing really felt real to her.

It's that contradiction again, where her mind has no memories to back up anything she's being told or feeling, while her body did the opposite, giving her a sense of comfort and familiarity to certain things.

She felt both comfortable yet suffocated in this house, and it frustrated her.

She didn't understand _what_ she wanted.

After taking a deep breath and opening her eyes, she decided to look around now that she was on her own. Croix didn't bother her, but she felt more comfortable trying to discover things on her own and without anyone around to watch.

She heard a caw from behind.

Well, Alcor was around, but that was okay.

She picked the plates, making sure to tidy the kitchen before doing anything. She looked at the mess that Croix left on the coffee table, and frowned.

Usually, she would clean it up, but she seemed off this time. She didn't look like she was getting enough sleep, and that thought made the guilt resurface. She would happily trade and sleep on the couch, after all, it didn't feel like she earned sleeping in that bed…

...Not when she was causing her so much anguish.

"Caw!" Alcor landed on her shoulder, and stared at her.

"I'm okay." She said, smiling. He gave her an unimpressed look. "Fine, I'm not, but I _will_ be."

Or at least, she hoped that she would be fine.

 **-Forget me not-**

Finneran has seen her fair chair of her old student's 'phases' and strange fashion 'statements', not to mention her angry ball of her hair back as a student, so it hardly came as a surprise to neither of them when she said:

"You look terrible."

"Wow, thanks." Croix answered, dryly. She continued to type on her laptop, having just finished teaching one of her classes. "Why are you here?" She asked, and it probably came off ruder than she had planned, but who could blame her?

Her entire world was collapsing.

It couldn't get any worse than this.

"I'm sorry about calling you back with how things are currently. We will find a replacement soon." Finneran said, and the lilac haired witch shut her laptop, before running her hand through her hair.

"No, it's fine. I don't trust anyone but Constanze to teach in my place and, she's still busy starting her own business." Croix said, rubbing her eyes. It was hard to function properly.

The older professor sighed, and gave her a sympathetic stare. Sure, the two had their differences, but the young prodigy had proved herself and became a better person after the whole missile incident.

It was easy for someone with good intentions and large ambitions to lose their way, and wasn't it a professor's job to lead a student back to the right path?

Unfortunately, it took her too long to learn to support her students and accept them for who they are.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but would you like a drink later to take your mind off things?" She asked. "You look like you need it." Croix chuckled.

"No, I don't drink." She answered, then looked away, crossing her arms. "I think I might continue to work here, it's just hard to be at home right now."

"She needs you."

"I know." She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. When she uncrossed her arms, her hand moved to her wedding ring, turning it back and forth. "I don't know how to deal with this. We're just strangers living together."

"I informed Diana of the matter." Finneran said, and hesitated, before putting a hand on her former student's shoulder. Croix looked at her for a split second, before looking down. It was heart wrenching for the older woman to see someone so full of confidence, on the verge of breaking down.

It was as if she went back in time, several years ago. Those green eyes looked so tired and broken, and her outfit was full of dirt, complimenting the cuts and bruises on her skin. She was silent, and didn't even defend herself. She just asked them to give her in and get over with it.

Finneran sighed again, before pulling away, and leaving Croix to her thoughts.

 **-Forget me not-**

Chariot felt lonely.

It wasn't the fact that she was alone, no, it was the fact that she had nothing to grip into, it was as if every waking moment had her falling.

She was staring at pictures she was supposed to know, faces she was supposed to recognize, but everytime she tried, there was nothing.

Just a void.

She stared forever at her wedding pictures, silently begging for them to speak to her, to tell her what she needed, but that wouldn't happen, so she continued to study everything in them.

She and Croix looked happy…

It was jarring, to see such joy in those emerald eyes, when she was used to seeing pain in them.

Pain that she caused.

Sighing, she finally flipped the page.

She saw two girls with them. One looked rather elegant, her blue eyes and her stance almost gave her an air of royalty. The other girl looked energetic, filing a large part of the picture, with her hands raised up and her grin wide.

Croix stared at the girl, annoyed, while Chariot smiled, happy.

It felt as if their names were at the tip of her tongue, yet nothing came out. It's like trying to move, but your body refuses, like trying to breathe but you're stuck and you're suffocating.

She put away the album. This was a bad idea.

She sat on her bed, pulling her knees towards her chest and hugging them.

She felt cold.

Something inside her was yelling at her to call Croix back, to tell her she needed her, to tell her to hold her.

But how could she?

They were just strangers, from the redhead's point of view.

Before she could drown in her own thoughts, she heard the doorbell ringing. Frowning, she stood up and walked outside to open it.

She expected to see her 'wife', but instead, she was met with a terrifyingly excited pair of red eyes, and that was the last thing she saw before getting tackled to the ground.

"OOF!" She let out, wincing as her back hit the floor. The girl… or rather _woman_ now, pulled away from her.

"CHARIOT I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!"

"Eh?" The redhead just blinked.

"It's me, Akko! Your favorite student and biggest fan!" Akko pointed at herself, and the redhead realized that she was the same girl from the picture, except older. "Oh, yeah right, you can't remember." She scolded herself, before lending her a hand and helping her up stand up.

And so, she found herself pouring tea for the brunette, and curiously watching her patting Alcor. She handed her a cup, which she gladly accepted.

Chariot sat down on the couch, facing her.

"So, you were one of my students?" She asked, before looking down at her own cup. She took a sip, hoping that it would calm her a little.

"Yes! I am also your biggest fan! You inspired me to become a witch!" Akko smiled at her, and she couldn't help but return the gesture. "I remember when I first saw your show! It was the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on!" She closed her eyes, as if recalling the memory. "You were amazing."

Chariot blinked.

That didn't sound like her at all.

Then again, she didn't know herself anymore.

"Anyway! I've decided that I will help you get your memories back!" She announced, and the redhead blinked. "Worry not! You will have them back in no time!"

"How?"

"I don't know but I will figure something out!"

Chariot continued to sip her tea, feeling uncomfortable. This girl, uh… woman, had no plan, and that was the last thing she needed right now.

What if she _never_ got her memories back? What happens then?

Would everyone abandon her?

Would her 'wife' leave her because she was unable to return her affection, or because she was no longer the same person?

Would she end up all alone?

"I got it!" Akko slammed her palms against the table, startling the older witch. "The fountain of Polaris!"

 **-Forget me not-**

Chariot was gripping tightly into Akko, as they flew through the leyline. Her 'student' lacked the skill her 'wife' had, and she certainly flew recklessly, almost dropping her in the process.

Chariot was definitely scared for her life.

Once they were out -much to the redhead's relief- she was met with a familiar place. It was where Croix took her to meet Arcas. Akko opened the gate with the flick of her wand, and was immediately met with an angry Arcas.

Alcor, who has followed them here, decided it was his cue to leave.

The polar bear looked at Akko, and Chariot could only describe his expression as… disappointment.

"He tried to eat me once." Akko said, and was met with a look of concern and confusion. She shrugged and started walking inside. "I came here before for help, and the fountain showed me what I needed, so maybe it could help you!"

"I will see my own memories?" Chariot asked, trying to grasp what she has been told. She followed the brunette, and hugged herself, feeling a strange dread fall over her body.

"I hope so."

They both fell silent. The redhead was unsure how to feel about this. She was scared, but also hopeful. Perhaps this could help her, perhaps seeing some of her memories could trigger them back.

She didn't know how it could work but she really hoped that she wouldn't feel so lost anymore.

She suddenly stopped when she found herself alone, in the middle a stairway. She looked around, but neither Akko nor Arcas were anywhere to be seen.

Frowning, she decided to continue walking, until she reached the end of the stairs. She looked up at the stars, gasping at their shining lights, before moving her gaze to the sphere before her, glowing and surrounded by what looked like waves of water.

She stared for a moment, unsure of what to do. Was there a special word? Something she should do? A secret button?

She had no idea.

There was nothing but her own reflection staring back at her. A reflection she found hard to remember or accept.

She started to wonder if this was all in vain, until the sphere's glow blinded her eyes. She used her arms to shield herself, and once the glowing stopped, she allowed herself to look again.

And she wished she hasn't.

Meanwhile, Croix was blankly staring at her laptop, too tired and sad to do anything. If she was being honest, she was trying to kill time before going home.

She couldn't face her wife yet, and she dreaded flying home and meeting those eyes that didn't recognize her, nor loved her.

Unfortunately, Alcor flew by her classroom's window, catching her attention. She raised an eyebrow, then used her wand to open the window for him. He flew towards her, landing on her arm.

"Alcor, why are you here?" She asked, and her eyes widened as he cawed. She looked down, thinking. "Why would they be at the fountain…?" She paused, almost as if words got caught in her throat.

Realization hit her.

She took her broom, and made her way to the fountain's location. She was flying at a dangerous speed, praying that she could catch up to them before Chariot would see anything.

Or at least she hoped that the fountain wouldn't screw her over.

Once she landed there, she took off running inside.

 _Please, God, let me make it… let me make it this time._

She stopped abruptly, as she noticed a worried and guilty looking Akko standing next to Chariot, who had her back turned to her.

"Chariot?" Croix called, as she slowly approached her. The brunette shook her head, but it was too late, as the redhead turned to face her ' _ **wife**_ '.

Croix's heart sank, as she was met with Chariot's crying face.

The red eyes she would stare at for hours, the eyes that always managed to warm her heart and ease her worries, were staring back at her with _fear_ and _hatred_.

Croix's breaths quickened, and she looked down at her own shaking hands, before forcing herself to look back at Chariot.

She slowly reached a hand out, and tried to take a step forward, but it only lead to the redhead hugging herself and taking a few steps back.

"Stay away!" She yelled with so much anguish, that it felt like a punch to the older witch's gut.

There was a time, long ago, when she tried her hardest to break the woman before her, all because of her jealousy and pettiness.

And now, when all she wanted was to give her the world, when all she wanted was her happiness… It would look like she got her wish.

Croix wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation, but she found herself frozen, her gaze never leaving her...wife's.

Croix Meridies always got what she wanted, right?

Better late than never…

... _right…?_


End file.
